Torment- A Shizaya Fanfiction
by Aki-kun
Summary: Shizuo is tired of being a monster. He doesn't want to be alone anymore. Taken captive by Izaya, he finds a chance to vent. He is changing, Izaya is changing, and only another monster can comfort them. Izuo, then Shizaya later on.
1. Wait

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Hey, hey, hey, y'all! Iiiit's nekokun here~~ Yep, I've tried many times to write Shizaya Fics, but they never seem to turn out right... Well, I'm trying this one out, since I like it somewhat more than my other attempts. Well, have fun, you yaoi-lovers 3

Warning: Fic contains a bunch of gay dudes having sex, also called yaoi in the otaku dictionary, so if you're a prejudice pig, or just not that into it, go away. Also, this fic is M-Rated, peeps, if you're too dumb to read the rating sign when you clicked on this! So that means adult stuff below! Like I said, don't like, don't scroll down.

Disclaimer: Seriously, has there ever been a manga author who spends time writing pervy crap about their characters on a fanfiction website? Have you ever read a disclaimer saying, "Yes, I own "_." Yeah, I know it's required, whatever, sue me. No one cares. Look, I don't own Durarara. What do you think? Go on, quit reading me complain; look down and start reading!

**Chapter One Wait**

_How long has it been?_

_A minute?_

_...Ten Minutes?_

_An hour?_

In this unbearable prison where heaven collides with hell, there is no way to tell.

At any rate, the fact is, that it was a normal, boring day in the fall, when _he_ arrived. At the time, I had thought nothing of the pitiful louse that day. I had just gotten off of work with Tom, heading outside into the cold, leaves skittering dryly over the ground, and I was headed home to my dingy apartment. Later that day I was to meet with Kasuka and have lunch at the comfortable coffeehouse down the street. The place reminded me of Kasuka itself, the kind-of... warmness of it all. Then the memories began. A flurry of hazy childhood memories of us playing together at the park down the street. A slight smile presses my lips.

"_Shi-zu-chaaaaan~!"_

Hips swiveling, I turn to find the pest standing there, in a mockingly relaxed position, reminding me that he can easily escape from my deadly temper, which of course irritates me.

"Izaaaaya-kuuun! Get ouuuut of heeerreeee!" A quick jab to one of my muscles sends me falling towards the earth, unconscious. I knew he had something cruel planned for me, or some plan somewhat, at least. But what I was not expecting was to wake up who knows how long later, finding myself in a short yukata, blindfolded and gagged in heavy bandages, ropes tightly binding my arms to my back, and my thighs molded together, ankles rubbing together painfully. The first sensation was deep, burning anger, and humiliation. But mostly anger. But the second sensation I noticed was... filling. I was filled up... somewhere, and it felt good. Oh, god, the pleasure overtook me in waves, and my body bent and crumpled as I shifted and rubbed my thighs against each other.

It was moving! The thing inside me was... vibrating.

_Oh, god! Who the hell...? Izaya! Goddamn it! _

_That bastard! I'm going to rip through these ropes and... _

I strained and was going to attempt to sit up when I shifted, and the vibrator rubbed against the inside of my wet, tight, and [extremely] virgin hole. Shit! The slightest movement sent me thudding back to the floor, moaning through the multiple layers of the thick strips of cloth. My body bent in on itself, the machine grinding into me.

I didn't know how long it had been. Only _it_ was taking too long, whatever _it_ was that I was waiting for. Too many conflicting emotions- The pleasure, the pain, the humiliation, the need for more, the anger, the lust, the discomfort, the sheer ecstasy. But as far as time goes, I could tell, through my lusty haze, that I had been left here in this lonely room to writhe and shiver for over an hour. The feeling was building up in my stomach now, a tsunami wave about to crash.

Suddenly, the pleasure took a hold of my actions and my clouded brain thought that if a few movements sent me wobbling in the wind at the top of a cliff, then it might be fun to try and sit up. Obviously, I instantly realized that I was an idiot as soon as I tried it. The machine jerked sideways, pressuring my insides and I toppled backwards, sitting directly on the large object, shooting it father up into me, hitting my core. I wailed into the wet cloth, saliva finding its way under it, and I fell to the side, shivering in pure pleasure, and my throbbing, erect cock pressed against my thin, heaving stomach as I cried out and came onto the (from what I could feel) tatami-matted floor. From there, that set off a domino-effect of my orgasms, each time, my sticky seed splattering the floor. I couldn't have moved an inch if I had tried my hardest. I was racked in warm shivers, dancing across my body.

In another hour, I lay, panting on the ground, my cum all around me. The tight bondages, though painful, are, in truth, arousing, and I shift against them. I lay there, hating myself. For giving in to the one man, the one human being I can truly say that I completely and utterly _hate_. I try, once again, to break free of my bondages, but straining only causes me to scream in a mixture of anger and pleasure.

_Izayaaaaaa!_

The sun has now faded in my room of torment. Izaya is not back. I don't give one damn if he is. I'm too tired to do anything but lie here and shudder as the thing works inside me. I would think the pleasure would have gradually faded by now, but it has somehow increased!

Just as I think that the last of my strength has faded, the paper door slides open and I feel the presence of another. My heart pounds and I feel rejuvenated to think, and I am afraid to think of what will come next. I hear a voice, cocky, low. It's Izaya. But my emotions jump in a different way.

Fear. Fear. Fear.

I am afraid. Afraid. Oh, god,

_I am so goddamn afraid of what comes next._

He's saying something now. Did he ask...? Enjoy...ing? Am I wha? Enj... _Oh._

No, you idiot, I'm not enjoying this! Does it look like I am?

_I'm not, am I?It doesn't look like I'm enjoying this torture,_

_right?_

I _so _do not want the answer to that question, because I already know it. I feel a pressure on the thing that has performed these hour-long tortures. His fingers. They lock onto the thing, gripping it, and my warm, dripping ass tightens painfully around the object. He scoffs.

"_God, Shizu-chan, you're so frickin' wet! You must have loved my little toy, ne?"_

_No! No! D-Don't call me that!_

"Don't call me Shizu-cha-ch...chi...! A-Ahhnnn~!"

Once again, my shuddering form bucks and releases, but this time it's worse as my voice takes on a girlish pitch as I moan into the ground. I feel Izaya stir behind me.

"_Hmm, you're too cute, Shi-!zu-!chan! I just don't know if I can resist, or you for that matter!" _

He laughs, and slowly begins to pull the thing out of me, slowly, slowly because of the size. I dig my chin into the ground, and my trembling knees I bring up to my shuddering chest. As it comes out of me, I hear a distinct "pop!" and I cover myself again in my own fluids as I let out a drawn-out moan. Tears leak down my burning cheeks. My voice is heavy and I can barely speak to the snickering man behind me.

"_Wh...Why.. cuh...can...can't... ah..ahnn! Ah-ah- Ahhy suh... suhtop... cuh.. cumming...?_

_I...I...Izaya... ah!"_

Oh... That felt good... calling his name...

"_Whuh... Wha... t... dih...did yuh-you d-do tuh-to m...me?"_

I can almost feel his smile on my back.

"_Why, nothing whatsoever, my dear Shizu-chan! It looks to me as if you are doing it to yourself~"_

My suh...seh, wha? No, I'm... wha-what, no! No, I'm not!"

Am I?

Wow. Holy shit. That was... so kinky.

Wow.

Yeah. Wow.

So I did base this off a really strange doujinshi that I read, I think the name was... Kimono-Wearing Shizuo, or something along those lines? I am truly sorry for "rushing into it" as people would say. I intended this to be a short, pervy story, so... if you want lots of action, I'm gonna have to cram it in. My first fic on , but I _have_ written others (mostly yaoi). Well, review, and if you hated it, don't review, and I won't bother to write another chapter! Just thought I'd try out this idea. I'll see if you guys like it, or if it's worth finishing.

Hentai... _**AWAY!**_


	2. The Process

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Hellooo~~ Again! Yah, so I decided to start the second chapter the next day after I had finished the first chapter. …. I got really really bored. Yeah... regardless of whatever y'all thought about me, I'm posting. Well, I'm gonna hopefully get some action in here, and more Shizaya, not just sick self-pleasure. Well, hope_ you _guys get some self-pleasure out of this, at least. /:D

Warning: Contains Gay Sex, _capitalized_. Which makes it that much more extreme. :P Yep, ton's and ton's of... sex. (sighs) I have no life...

Disclaimer: No. I don't own it. Did ya' think I did?

**Chapter Two The Process**

I didn't realize it two seconds ago, so why did I have to recognize it now?

_The god-awful aching._

I ached, inside and out. I ached. My slim body arched and bent, shaking me horribly as I writhed. For a second, I didn't know why I was squirming. All I knew was...

_Something was wrong._

A part of me was missing. I didn't feel right... incomplete.

_No, no, no! Please don't let it be true._

_Don't tell me that if I don't have something..._

_him!_

_Izaya! Oh, God. No, no, no, n-no._

A smirk touches his lips softly, lifting the corners of his mouth. Then he bursts out laughing. He is on the floor next to me, shaking.

_I want him to be shaking for me._

Ugh... What am I thinking? No, goddamn it, Izaya! What have you done to me? Why have you inserted this raw needing into me ? The needing for pleasure! Pure, raw.

Unfiltered. Untainted. Unsifted. Unmixed, unchanged.

_Pleasure._

_Pleasure._

_Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure._

_Pleasure._

_I decide I like the word. _

_And I decide I like something else, too. _

I like the feel of him here next to me, shaking and laughing, out-of-control.

I hear a voice now. Muffled. What was that? Izaya? What did he say? I sense him perk up and he leans forward, floorboards creaking and he draws near. My body winds and strains, my uncomfortable level rising. I need something. Oh, god, I didn't notice it, but I need someone!

_Someone, now! N-no! Uhhhn!_

"_I-Iz...Iza...nnnnnuu~!"_

My breath is caught in my throat in a sharp exhale as he grabs my behind, and parts it, molding my cheeks away from each other, exposing the sticky pink.

"_Hmmm? Is this what you were begging me for just a second ago?_

_Did you want this?"_

I decide to answer him.

"_N-no, Iza-hahhh... nnn, I-Iza...ya... Ple-Please do-d-d, ah, no! N-NO! Ahhnn~~!"_

_He smiles._

"_That's what I thought. You want this pretty damn bad, hm?"  
_

I feel a push, and I whimper, goosebumps shooting up my arms tantalizingly. A harder push, and he thickly breaches farther into me.

"_I...I...za...ya...k-kuuunnn...~ Ah, no! N-not... tha-ah! N-nahh! O-ohhh, ahnnn~! I-za...hnn!"_

My breath is ragged, and my arms are bent onto the floor as he mounts me, and sweat drips freely from my face onto the ground. I still can't see a thing, and that makes everything that much better for me. Another short jab, and he is inside me. I release, and hear him laughing behind me.

"_Man, you're so sloppy back here; that was easy, for such a tight virgin ass! _

_Damn, Shizu-chan, you must really like this, nn?"_

My strength gives way and I fall to the ground, bandages finally falling off onto the ground in wet strips. My tongue slips out of my mouth as I intake short, rapid breaths, and saliva begins to pool on the ground. My eyes flutter and squint, attempting to take in the surroundings. Izaya grabs me around the waist and pulls me up so that I am sitting on his lap, cock pushing farther into me.

_I-Izaya is inside me- I can feel him, digging into my very being,_

_the tip of his very entity preparing to take what is mine._

_He will steal me this day. Why? For what purpose_

_does he keep me here? A toy? Is this all just_

_a sick game that I am willing to play_

_since I am so starved for attention,_

_apparently of any kind?_

_Even like this..._

_I want him._

_Izaya-_

_kun._

"_I assume you'd like to see our audience?" _

He says to me, but I don't understand. I raise my head, curiosity infecting my arteries, and see a small camera crew. Their faces are mean, lustful. One of the guys gives a swaggering laugh.

"_Never thought I'd see the day when Heiwajima Shizuo would _

_be in a kimono, gettin' fucked!"_

The other men laugh, their spiteful words digging into me.

"_N-No! Don-Don't look at me! Ah-ahnnn, Iza-zayaaa-sen...sens..."_

I stop. No. No, I would not go there. Not here with these men. But I realize that he will never take me outside of this room. Each of us will go our separate ways; this game is only temporary, and already I feel lonely. Lonely. Of all things, lonely is not the appropriate emotion at the moment.

_But I do feel that way. Lonely._

_I am lonely, so goddamn lonely, that I will let this man,_

_Izaya_

_do whatever the hell he pleases_

_to me._

But I won't give up. I'm still not fully his yet. I still have an ounce of fight left in my broken, bound, pitiful body. I strain once more, and I hope to feel, yet dread to feel, ropes shredding, tearing around my body, my arms freed. I jump up and pull away from my captors, enraged. I pick up Izaya and throw him at the crew, and I spend the next ten minutes demolishing every last bit of evidence of this night. A worthless, completely unrealistic fantasy. As I begin to strain, my pulling only causes my hole to tighten further against Izaya's weapon. I shiver and strain, still on his lap, crying out into the stale air.

"_Please, please, leh-let me go... Iza-Izaya!"_

A smile crosses his face.

"_Then break free of these ropes, Shizuo. Go, on. You know you could do it."_

I freeze.

Why haven't I done it?

Broken free of my bonds, that is?

"_Come on, Shizuo, do it! Why haven't you broken out of them? Do you want me to pull away?_

_Do you want me to let you take your leave?"_

My heart leaps horribly. No, no, no, no. I don't want him to... to...

"_Ple...Pleas...e... don't... u-unh!"_

He smiles.

"_That's what I thought, Shizu-chan...~"_

Then he motions to the crew.

"_Come on, there's room for more than one in here! Look- see how wet it is?"_

He pushes a finger in, then brings it to the air, trailing thick lines of my pleasure. I shiver as one of the men exclaim in delight and Izaya points to him, red eyes alight with glee in my humiliation.

"_You, over there, yeah, you, the one who seems so eager to fuck the famed Heiwajima Shizuo!"_

He laughs, and looks at me with pure disgust in his eyes, but his expression suggesting that this situation is hilarious to him.

"_Hell yeah! Hey, guys, look at 'im! He's so fuckin' begging for this!_

_I wonder how many hits we'll get for our special three-way_

_Heiwajima Shizuo video?"_

He gives a short, choppy, bark of a laugh, then lowers himself to me and, pants already unbuttoned and unzipped, he starts to squeeze his way into me. After one more tight push, he makes it into me, his dick crushing against Izaya's inside of me. It's too much for me, and I buck and shudder as the two start to move inside of me, thrusting at different time intervals.

"_Za...Iz...ahn...no! N-nahh, sto-stop it, no, noooo~ Izaya-Senpaiii~~_

_Ohhh, it feels so nice~ AHN! Ah, no, don't!_

_Oh, please~ No!_

_Ah, Iza..._

_ya!"_

Another person decides to join and thrusts his massive dick inside of my mouth. I work my lips around the thing, and my tongue prods slightly inside the small slit, and I loudly moan around the thing as both men inside me cum at the same time, filling me all the way up with their liquids, and my blowjob-reciever follows suit. The cock slides out of my mouth as I fall to the ground, shivering horribly, saliva and semen trailing out of the corners of my mouth onto the ground. Suddenly I feel another horny man at my backside. I swivel my head, looking at my tormenters with fear-filled eyes brimming, then spilling crystal tears over my burning cheeks.

"_N-no, not anoth-another! I-It wo-won't fit! Please! Please! Sto-Stop!"_

_Nande?_

_Why is this happening to me? _

_He's pushing into me now. Oh, god. Somehow, he'll make it fit._

_They won't stop until my body has sated them._

_I am just a piece of used meat._

_Used so they can get off._

_Nnh! He's al-almost inside m-me now..._

_Ah~_

_He made it._

_Please, god! I'm begging you! Kill me now! I want this hell to end!_

"_C'mon, guys, pull out, now. It's been a while."_

_Wh-What? Who said... pull ou... A while? How long... now?_

_I'm tired._

_I'm so goddamn tired._

_Someone let me sleep._

**Well, it's official. I am a horrible person. The worst. What kind of fucked up human dreams of this shit? Well, I don't dream of it. My perverted mind somehow comes up with it. Oh, god. I made this up on the spot, really. I didn't, and still don't exactly know where I'm planning on taking this. Suggestions? **

**AHHHH I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON! =_=**


	3. Debate

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Well, I debated for a while, and finally decided to write more. I'm really bored right now and I thought I'd just start up another chapter. I hope I can find the heart to let Shizuo off easily this time.

Izaya: Not gonna happen.

Shizuo: What? Give me a break! It's been nonstop butt-fucking for 9 pages!

Akikun: Hmm, we'll see. Depending on how school goes today.

Shizuo: Ehh? It depends on how _you're _feeling?

Akikun: Let's begin~

Warning: Yeah, yeah, you know the drill. Yaoi, yaoi, yaoi, you all love it. Shut up.

Disclaimer: I didn't own it last chapter, so why would I now?

**Chapter Three- Debate**

"_Sa, sa, Shizuo. How are you feeling?"_

I stirred, fists clenching. What had I...? Hn? Kasuka?

"_Hey, wake up, Shizu-chan~"_

Nnh? Shizu-chan? Wha...? I shot up, then slammed back to the wall I was slumped against. Something was binding my hands and legs. Fear shot through me.

_No! No! Not again! _

I struggled and found that my arms were bound by short chains to the wall, and my legs were tied together by a thin rope wrapped many times around my bared ankles. In fact, wha? This time I was in another one of Izaya's strange outfits. A maid's apron, not even covering my junk, and cat ears. High black stockings with red ribbons at the top decorated my legs.

"_No! Goddamn it, Izaya! Why? Let me go!"_

"_You're allowed to leave if you'd like, Shizu-chan."_

I shifted my legs and looked at him surprised. There was nothing but the weak chains and ropes holding me this time.

_Hm?_

I could break through these without any...consequences. I looked down at my body, twinging and flinching slightly in the cold, then looked up at him again, and I found him smiling at me in that usual, irritating way, like he knew every goddamn thing in the world. I smiled evilly, tilting my head down and glaring at him, smirking. I was about to kill him for what he had done to my body. What he had done that would never revert. I was about to stand up, break the chains binding me, when Izaya held up something that made me stop cold. A stack of... clothes? Folded neatly, and lying on his palm.

_Th-Those are my clothes!_

He starts away, pressing the well-folded clothes to his chest. I can genuinely say that I am extremely surprised.

_W-Wait! If he leaves, then I'll have to walk home in this _

_ridiculous outfit!_

"_Ch-Chotto matte yo, Izaya-kun!"_

He turns.

"_Hm? Do you need something, Shizuo?"_

His face suggests, then confirms what I had been thinking:

_Play my game and I'll spare you the embarrassment._

"_Th-this is fuckin' bullshit, Izaya! Give me my clothes!"_

I try to be mad, but my heavy blush spreads quickly. Izaya reacts and drops the clothing on the floor, putting his hands to his cheeks, and wiggling his body back and forth, smiling at me through closed eyes.

"_Ohhh, Izaya, you're too cute~ Blushing in that little Neko Maid outfit?_

_Ah, too cute! How can I stand it? I can't! Maybe I shouldn't!"_

I'm taken aback, and my eyes widen and I stare at him, annoyance on my face.

The atmosphere this time was... different.

No hours of heavenly torture, only to be in the vilest five-way-romp I ever have been not-quite-disgusted to experience. However, this was like the slightly feminine man. I never expected him to be gay, though. It never even came to my mind. I looked around. No visible cameras or crew.

Then, what?

Surely not love?

No, what am I thinking?

Izaya doesn't love.

He lives for pleasure.

And all humans are at his mercy.

If he wanted someone, he could easily take them.

So why me?

We both have mutual feelings of hate for each other.

We've both come extremely close to killing each other, and he brings me to wherever this is, only to film me and tempt me with pleasure.

What is he thinking?

Izaya.

The most enigmatic person on earth.

"_What are you plotting, Izaya-kun?"_

He waves a finger at me, sighing comically at me, fake disappointment on his face.

"_Now, now, Shizu-chan. We can't have that~"_

Hm?

"_If we are to play my game, you must address me properly as _

_Izaya-Senpai!"_

Ugh. Dammit, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him

I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I fucking

LOVE HIM!

"_And you did so well during our game yesterday, Izayaaa~_

_Screaming my name while we were fucking? Ah, that was nice."_

Now I have my doubts for sure. Is he...? Or do I just want him to be?

Wait. Am I thinking that I am...?

No way in hell.

"Ne, Shizu-chan. Don't you want this over with? Let's gooo~"

God. He sounds like a fussy child. But he's right. I do... and don't want this over with.

I do need to get home, however. I have work and, and things to do,

and people to check on.

By the way,

how long have I even been here?

A week? A couple days?

No way to know.

His talking interrupts my thoughts again. Agh, there goes my ADD again. Always getting distracted.

"_Noww, Shizu-Chan! I'm getting really impatient~ Hm? But you know, Shizu-chan,_

_you really could just break through your bondages and get the clothes from me, you know..."_

Now a series of different emotions barrage me.

_Goddamn it! How am I stupid enough not to realize that?_

But why did he point that out if that thought obviously hadn't come to me?

_Ah. He wants me to admit I want it._

If I leave, I won't experience Izaya's molesting.

And I _do _want it.

But it comes with the price of my sanity and my ability to ever go back to how things were.

Simple. Easy.

The other problem is that this might prove my growing feelings of attraction towards the man I

hate and love,

and towards the things he will undoubtedly do to me tonight, that I

hate and love.

_So I let him._

_Invite him in to see the scared, lonely little boy_

_inside me_

_aching for affection, attention,_

_of any kind._

_And I hope for the best._

Shizuo: Ugh. Did you have a bad day at school or something?

Akikun: Not really. I just felt like writing some angst leading up to pervy stuff3

Izaya: Yay! Yay!

Shizuo: Shut the fuck up, you.

Izaya: Want me to dress you up more, Shizu-chan? Be nice.

Shizuo: Th-That's up to her, Izaya-kun!

Izaya: You'll do it more, won't you?

Akikun: Probably not.

Izaya: What? Why not?

Shizuo: Yokata~

Akikun: Hey, I didn't say I'd let you off, Shizu-chan.

Shizuo: What?!

So? What did you think? Review, review, my lazy readers. I'm not sure why, but the day after I posted the first and second chapters, I received about fifteen emails saying "blah blah" had added my story to their favorites. But no comments. I find this strange. You know, let me share something with you. I'm not human. I am from Commento, a planet three galaxies away, where we receive really good Internet reception. Our life force is comments. So if we don't have any writing skills, we die of hunger. I'm pretty starving, so if you want me not to die and to keep writing more, you'd better review.

So... weak...


	4. Someone Save Me

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Sigh... I guess it's time for the fourth chapter. Excited? Don't care? Well, I'm feeling good about the few comments I received on this, even though it was only a couple, so I suppose I'll reward you all3

Shizuo: Well, shit. I'm fucked.

Yep, let's get on to the next chapter. Ugh... I'm somewhat tired... But I'll work hard making this... um... perverted. Ughhhhhh... Nooo lifeee... =_=

Warning: Yep, so much butt-fucking you'll simply die from... moe... overload? I don't know if that qualifies... Um, so yeah. R18, but then again I haven't even hit the big one eight yet. Wow, I'm such a hypocrite. Oh, well. Enjoy whether you've been following this or if you came here by accident. :P

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it. That would be... interesting for sure. XD Soooo much Izuo... Ahhhh!

**Chapter Four- Someone Save Me**

_What am I doing? How did I get like this?_

A strange thought comes to me.

Why is Izaya doing this to me?

What happened to him to make him want to do these things to me? I had always assumed that it was the flea's fault, that he was just an idiot in the first place, or something. I never had given it much thought whatsoever. Everyone is born pure, angelic, you could say, in a sort of manner.

So how was he changed?

Short pushes burst into my backside.

Uh...Ugh... Izaya...Sen..

"Sen...p-p..."

Goddamn it, no! I wouldn't submit!

He pauses, smirks at me.

"_Hmmm, what's wrong, Shizu-chan? Can't get it out?"_

Breathe. Breath. Get it out... That's it... Steady, Shizuo.

_What is your name?_

I scoff, then wince as he shoves into me, farther, making me gasp as I feel him slide over me, making my arms shake and eyes push closed. My teeth grit, and I force myself not to call his name, especially not with that stupid honorific attached.

_My name is Shizuo Heiwajima._

_What?_

_Shizu...Shizu...o._

I cry out, without noticing as he pulls out, as I orgasm, and fall to the ground, white apron shifting over my exposed skin.

_Can you help this broken man?_

Ugh, shut up. What the hell am I doing? Talking to myself... I'm not crazy...

That crazy.

But this encounter with the man, for sure is different. Less charged, insane. It feels final, drawn out. Instead of constant, almost overwhelming fucking, this is drawn out, more ministrations.

_God, what am I thinking?_

Was I thinking that we would be around each other after this? Certainly after this, we can never go back to the days of running through dark alleyways, cutting each other with knives, and throwing various large items at each other in pure white-hot anger. Somehow it feels like a content, simple time in my life. Now that he has complicated things beyond fixing for both of us.

Somehow this is funny to me, I laugh, and he draws away from me, his mouth trailing cum from my lower regions. My arms and legs are spread away from my body, head tilted up, and apron pushed up onto my stomach. I'm racked with shivers of pain somewhere in my heart, and cataclysmic laughter, shaking my body and I find myself laughing so hard, I cannot seem to calm myself, and the man stares at me, looking somewhat disgruntled, which is also a new one, which just adds to the humour for me.

He just sits up and stares at me, red eyes looking at blankly at me.

Finally, after an eternity of laughter for me, I've somewhat calmed, eyes literally spilling over with tears. And he stared at me, so blankly, and me back, eyes filled with my insanity, a wide grin on my face, and suddenly, quietly at first, he giggles. Then louder, more frantic. And it starts me again, our laughter penetrating the small, cement room, echoing and eerily vibrating back into our own brains, and we go on for hours, days, a millennium, through all galaxies and universes, all time, all space, forever.

My chest heaves and bursts as he collapses onto me, shaking and crying, and our instability mixes together, and the feverish laughter grows louder and louder. We are demons, children of hell, and we know it. We come from normal families, both of us, but we have brought upon our own life's sorrows onto ourselves and each other and become what we are today. We have found each other, and and have joined in each other's insanity.

"_Shi-zu-Shiz-ahahahaha! Shi-eh-ah-hahahaaa! Zu-cha-hahahaa! I..."_

He sighs in loss of breath and smiles, the grin splitting his face.

"_You know-ehhheh! M-men whahahahaha~~! Wh-hee-heee! Who a-are Hahahahhahaa~ I-in-insane are my preference!" Ehh, hehehe!' _

_Hee, hee... Wait, did he just admit that he was gay?_

_And for me?_

My heart jumps, and I am a human again.

_Who are you?_

Smile, smile.

_Why the hell does it matter?_

_I'm human._

_Laugh, laugh._

_But Izaya isn't? _

_No. He just puts himself above all others._

_Something happened._

_He wasn't this way when we were fighting in Ikebukuro before._

Feelings are real.

_Hmmm? So what has happened since then, do you think?_

_Tch. How would I know?_

_And anyways, this is stupid. Talking to myself._

_Not so. It helps you sort things out in your mind. _

_Ugh, I don't care. _

But I do!

_What are you going to do? Will you help him?_

_Hah! Are you kidding? I don't give a shit what happens to the fuckin' flea._

Why can't I stop thinking of him?

_Hmm. I see._

_Well, if you are so stubborn as to lie to_

_even yourself, then it's time to let you figure out things for yourself._

_Grr. Shut up._

Why is he so important to me?

And suddenly, brown eyes slanted and clear again, I sit up, and he tumbles off my chest, falling to the floor. He stays there, giggling and shaking.

I cleared them.

I can clear my inner demons easily just by thinking

to myself for a few moments, but his

seem to be near-impossible to vanish.

Tired of his shit, and mine, I sit up and, without thinking, I pin his arms down with my hands, his legs sprawled under mine. He stops laughing all of the sudden, and he looks up at me, questioning eyes prodding me. And again, without thinking, I lean down over him, my neck bending, and I kiss him on the lips, something that has not occurred in the past days of our intense fucking, as a kiss is a sign of passion, of love.

His red eyes widen and he shivers as I deepen it, and I am sad to find how I am surprised that he doesn't pull away, instead stares right at me, and suddenly I break away, and I am crying, crying like a goddamn bitch, and I hate him, I hate Izaya, I hate him for doing this to me, inserting this feverish passion, one in which I have unknowingly become a slave to, and all for this man who I supposedly

_hate._

Ummmm, wow. So, yeah. I said I'd reward you all, but that kind of got really weird and angst-driven instead. I don't really know, but yeah... So, uh, thoughts? Anything? Anything at all? Ugh, with finals looming, don't blame me if I start writing angst...

3 See ya~


	5. No Passion

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Hiiii... um... yeah. Fifth chapter, and things are going really weird. Just so you know, the doujinshi ended in chapter two, so I've been completely improvising since then, and see what's happened! Just as soon as the sex ends, the angst starts. Sigh... Well, I'll see what I can do for y'all. Also, I've gotten a couple reviews saying that this is Izuo. I'm sorry, but just because he's topping means nothing to me. It's not Izuo unless he has similar feelings. Done!

Warning: Angst, fucking, all those lovely little things ahead! You all love it, so read my shit, waste your life, have fun!

Disclaimer: Um... clever way to disclaim... uh, hmmm... I don't own it, so shut up? Hey, that's good! Ahem... I don't own it, so shut up! Enjoy my story, all you little perverts!

**Chapter Five No Passion**

Last time it was laughter. And now, sobbing. Uncontrollable, horrible shaking and a pain in my heart that was stabbing me, piercing me through my very being, wrenching my soul apart. Izaya said nothing, just stared at me with unfeeling red, swirling eyes. Why? Why had it come to the point where I'd let him do anything to me, just to gain some sort of recognition, some sign, even the smallest hint of affection?

"_I'm sorry." _

I sobbed into his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt into my lightly shivering hands.

"_What the hell happened to you?"_

At this he was visibly surprised.

"_What do you mean, Shiz-Shizu-chan?"_

He was losing his proud facade. Disappearing into the void of our world we shared. Together.

"_Why? Why are you doing this to me? Now?! When we have already_

_established our unending hate?"_

He smiles.

"_Woow~, Shizu-chan! We have a poet here! Nice job!"_

I grab his shirt, angry amber eyes spilling over, staring into his own unfeeling ones. My forehead touches his all of the sudden, and his head is so shockingly cold, I lose all energy and fall on top of him, my head buried into his shoulder. He still doesn't move and this irritates me. And all of the sudden I am holding him by the shirt, slamming him into the wall, cracking it, and he manages a wince then a weak, cocky smile.

And he surprises me.

"_Shizu-chan..._

_kill me."_

My eyes widen.

Fingers tighten.

Teeth grind.

Dead.

He

feels

dead.

Inside.

"_I can't do that, Izaya."_

His turn to be infuriated.

"_And why not? You made enough threats for both of us before? Why not_

_now?!"_

Goddamn it, Izaya. Is this what you wanted from me?

"_Because I love you. _

_Izaya."_

His eyes are so wide now, and he shakes and he falls limp. And his eyes close, fluttering slowly. And for the first time...

He has allowed himself the luxury of crying. Crying like a child. Like an idiot. Like he has lost his lat link, last chain connecting himself to humanity. Insane. That's what I've truly made him. Insane. Insane.

And it's okay.

Because he is mine. Izaya is mine.

No one can have him.

He belongs

to

me.

Ahahaha! I'm making this short just to torture you all~ Sorry, but I'm working on other stuff at the moment and I have homework3 Btw, the more reviews, the more motivated I am to actually _write a full-length Fic with sex. _I'll work on this later this week, I do promise you all that. But the more reviews, the better it will be, I promise y'all! Ja, ne!


	6. Don't Slip Away

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Ugh... I am _so _sorry for the wait. I was reading around and reviewing all these Shizaya and Izuo fics and I got all demotivated because I was reading all these really well-written, like 300 page fics. TT_TT

I hope y'all will stick with me until the end, and hopefully, I can pick this up a bit, because so far, my writing has been shit. I'll try and improveit this chapter 3

Warning: Swearing, fucking, angst-ing, all that yummy stuff3 You love it, come on...

Disclaimer: Really? Do I even have to say it? Shut up. o3o

**Chapter Six Don't Slip Away**

Dammit. God fucking dammit. What the hell is he crying for? He should get mad, at least, or say _something. Anything._ And, come to think of it, why am I crying? What the hell am I doing, sobbing here with him?

I'm Shizuo!

The beast of Ikebukuro.

The monster.

The unloved. The unlovable.

Is this what this is?

Have I really simply tricked myself into believing that I can love, that I do love him, this broken, idiotic man?

I shouldn't love him. There's nothing good about him. But... I think...

A smile picks up my lips, and I scuff my face on my arm, and stand up. And I am Shizuo Heiwajima once more. The proud, the anger-prone. Not Izaya's toy. Not here for his little porn videos. Not here to be dressed up then disposed of, broken, used, defeated. Defeated. Izaya has defeated me. He's broken me. Changed me. And I decide. And I tell him.

Not as nice as I could, I suppose, but, well, it's me.

_"Shut the fuck up, Izaya. Goddamn it, I've always believed you couldn't feel._

_Couldn't care. Didn't care._

_What the hell happened to break you?"_

He really does stop crying, and his face is pale, pale as always, and as he looks up at me, and my breath is stolen from me. For the first time it is not mockery or confidence on his face- it is a sheer coating of sadness, dusted over his former self. Bright red eyes are tinted lighter at the bottom with slowly sliding tears etching down his soft cheeks. His eyes are filled with sorrow, regret, and... pain?

And I think... it's the fact that there truly, in my opinion, is no true good thing about the man. I hate him. I hate him and I

love him.

But I think... I believe that the imperfection is the very thing about him that I hold so dearly.

Love so much.

Imperfection.

Perfect.

I, for sure, have never been this. With my strength and abilities, would I ever be considered even _"normal_?"

And I smile.

_How lovely._

_Two imperfect monsters drawn to each other by hate._

_Hate and _

_love._

And so I make my decision.

And I take the next step.

And he speaks.

"_I... you... why...?"_

Why...?

Why?

And suddenly I reach down and grab his hands and clasp them into my own, pulling him up into my chest. He is obviously startled, but I look away from his face, and I flush slightly.

Grasping his hands a bit harder, I begin to sway back and forth with him. He squirms slightly and I rest my head on his shoulder lightly and turn to his ear whispering, _"Let's dance," _maybe exhaling a bit too much, making him straighten and blush slightly.

We move to our own beat, swaying and moving together and eventually I get him to relax enough so that he softly closes his eyes. I smile devilishly and suddenly tilt him backwards and his eyes shoot open, a mortified look on his face. My hold on his hands slip and he falls backwards, hitting the ground, his legs bent, and arms outstretched against the wall behind him. His breathing quickenes, then he looks up at me, a mad, pouting look on his face that I didn't even know was possible for him. It had never occurred to me how cute this man could be.

"_Ne, that was mean, Shizu-chan! I trusted you for a second there,_

_and look what happened!"_

The pouting look still had not yet vanished and I was already captivated, and after a minute he became unnerved by my intense stare. I bent down, my eyes half-lidded with lust, love, hate, whatever you want to call it. My affection for him.

His breathing became harsh and he trembled slightly under my body as I lowered myself onto my knees over the man. His hands slid to the ground where his hands pressed the cement underneath us so that his knuckles became pale from the intensity of his grip. I shifted my head to the right and ghosted my lips over his smooth skin on the nape of his neck, and he shivers and suddenly exhales loudly. I feel him swallow and I look up to find that he had closed his eyes. His lips part slowly and he squeaks briefly. I was completely captivated by the man. I hadn't even done anything to him yet, and here he was squirming and mewling under my soft touches and affectionate kisses to his neck.

I place a hand on his lower torso, and feel my hand heating his middle waist, warming that one spot to a million degrees. His cheeks pinken and I shift my hands slowly up his chest. My weight slowly pushes him onto the floor, and we sink down onto each other, and for a millisecond I lie there on his slowly heating body, then I push myself up on the palms of my hands and I am over him, admiring his body, sprawled under mine. He is mine.

His arms are bent over his head, his shirt slightly pushed up and both legs bent, the right slightly less than the other. But his face. It startles me. It takes me by utter surprise. Scared. Terrified, even. He is shaking horribly now, and his expression is one on the border of of complete insanity. Tears are urging past their border.

And then he does something that completely takes me by surprise. Something I must say that I had never expected in a million years, no matter what I had thought was wrong with him.

_He completely breaks._

Ahahaha! Yes, Yes! Torture again! Sucks for you allll3 Well, how did you like it? I, personally found that I had improved somewhat. Oh my god, I almost facking DIED when I imagined Izaya pouting and then all seqqy sprawled underneath Shizuo! Well, I'm thinking of doing an Izaya POV, so review and tell me what 'chall think about that! Hentai... _away!_


	7. Fade Away

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Heh heh... Were you waiting? Well, here it is. The seventh chapter. I'm feeling as if it would be nice to write a long-term fic, but I'm not sure if I should try it. This is already going for far longer than I had expected. Well, I think it will go a bit further, anyways. I have to fill in a couple plot holes you might be wondering about. Man, this fic is all over the place. Going to visit Kasuka, raped by a vibrator, raped by four men at once, almost sexing it up with Izaya once again in a kitty outfit, angsty thoughts while having sex with Izaya again, laughing insanely with Izaya, loving him, dancing with him, leading up to sex, then... he breaks down? What the hell does that even mean? XD Well, I hope to go somewhere with this weird mess of a fanfiction. o3o

Warning: Everything perverted that y'all love, right this way! Only 25 cents to see this abomination of a fic! Right this way, folks. TT_TT Wat...? xD

Disclaimer: Um... yeah. I don't own it. XD Any ideas to sarcastically disclaim? Ideas would be helpful.

**Chapter Seven Fade Away**

He writhes and squirms erratically under me and his dilated pupils are swimming in complete terror. At first, I have no idea how to react. What is this...? Why is he...? Possibilities swim through my head, none of them preferable. It's all overwhelming and I just want him to calm down, and the raging headache I gain from his shrieks doesn't help one bit. My left hand shoots out to catch his wrists and I pull them over his head, and I pin his legs down with my my knees, which should provide enough pain for him to at least stop for a moment to wince, or something. But my hold on him has apparently terrified him even further and he begins to full-on sob and twist under me. His hands tremble and strain against my sweaty palms and my heart begins to race as I seem to only be scaring him more. I know that I can be scary at times, but never has anyone reacted like this, at all! I'm completely dazed, and I don't have a clue to what might be going on with the man.

_Baka. Can't you see how he acted when you pinned him like that? _

_Hahh?_

_You asked him before what happened. Can't you see...? What he's been through recently?_

_I... I don't... I can't... My headache... I'm sorry, but, wha...?_

_Hm? Can't see it? Heheh... Well maybe you should figure it out sometime soon._

_Figure out... why he's acting like a spaz?_

_Hm...? You can't see it from his actions? Think of what you did to make him freak, Shizuo._

_I... I... Well, I... Wait. Are you telling me he...?_

No fucking way. Who the hell could do... Who would... To Izaya? The unbreakable? The cold-hearted? The... How? Who the hell could have had the nerve to...?

Suddenly a sadness in which I have never known pangs through me, resounding through every being, every single artery, every vein. Not even... no. Nothing that I have ever felt, no amount of sorrow has ever compared to this moment, this single sliver in time, this wrenching... horrid... feeling.

"_Le-Let me go! Stop! Stop! Don-Don't touch me!_

_Shi-Shizu-Shizuo, yamete!"_

Suddenly my rough hold on his body weakens and I provide him just enough strength to get away from me, and he slams into the wall directly left. His stomach is heaving up and down in fast, deep breaths. I stare blankly at the ground where he lay under me just seconds ago.

I have no idea how to react. What to say. What to do. I have no clue how I should comfort him, or if I should touch him, ask more, and finally I just submit to the alluring idea of sleep. I didn't notice it at the time, but I feel extremely tired. Tired from the emotional and physical strain. Tired from... thinking.

So I just slump to the ground and lie there, slowly close my eyes. Close them. Sleep. Lost in the haze of my own thoughts. Desires. Love. Hate.

_Izaya._

_Izaya._

_Iza..._

_ya._

When I wake up, I am engulfed in darkness. I sit up, my heart pounding furiously in my chest.

_Where am I...?_

_And come to think of it, wher_e is Izaya?!

As I glance around, my surroundings become apparent. A simple and clean room. Tatami-matted floors, comfortable about... queen-sized bed. A lamp in the left corner opposite me. A dresser here and a desk there with neatly stacked papers sorted onto it.

So I try and sit up, and moving slightly, I feel thin sheets rub against bare skin and find that I am stripped of my clothes. Face reddening, I walk over to the dresser to find nothing inside the boring brown walls. I walk back to the bed, and pulling the sheet off the bed, I drape it over my shoulders and hold the it in place with a hand over my heart. I decide to leave the room, so I open the only door. A short hallway greets my vision, and voices that drift ominously from the last door on the end of the left side of the hallway reach my ears. I grip the sheets around my body tighter, and traverse down the narrow stretch. I get a strange, dreading, fear-stricken vibe with every step nearer the room. Reaching it, I hear low whimpers and whines, not unlike one of a dog that I had not heard before. Shaking slightly, I grip the door frame and try to inconspicuously peek inside. The sight that meets my eyes doesn't quite process for me at first.

Izaya, chained to the wall, arms bent upwards, legs bent apart as well and spread widely. His black shirt is crumpled and wrinkled and slightly untucked from his pants and his fur-lined coat hanging low on his shoulders. One of his shoes is thrown to the side, sock halfway off. But the things about the picture that startles me the most is that he is cut and bleeding in multiple different places. Bruises litter his face, shoulders, red marks on his neck...

Traces of tears had etched lines in the blood on his head. And his face. Oh, his face.

Dark red eyes were barely open, mouth stretched slightly downwards in a hopeless, broken manner.

And a single man was in the room with him, sitting at a plastic fold-out table on a metal chair, his chin resting on his fist. The room was small, cemented, and white. White, just like the man's suit.

As I stare into the room, Izaya looks up, sees me, and his mouth parts slightly.

"_Shi-"_

"_Ehhh?"_

The noise was startling.

The man looked over at Izaya. He had a disgusted look on his face, mean, spiteful. His tone was deep and drawling, and he didn't even look at Izaya when he spoke, which I considered extremely irritating. Here Izaya was, broken and bound, and this man was...

"_What is it, Izaya. Got something to say...? Or are you ready to explain yourself, you _

_fucking piece of used slut ass?"_

What he said was harsh, but the way he said it was like he was bored, and still, he didn't look at Izaya as he spoke. He pissed me off. This fuckin' white suit bastard.

But it seemed, this disrespectful man was smart, and he noticed Izaya's shaky gaze, and slowly followed it to me. And suddenly a strange, drawling smile spread over his face, not unlike the one Izaya used to give me.

_Izaya..._

"_Oh, Heiwajima-San! I'm so sorry you had to see this! Come."_

He sits up and dusts his suit off, then strides slowly over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"_Just taking care of some disposables. Now, I need to have a word with you for_

_a moment."_

_Disposables...?_

"_Oh, but let me introduce myself. I am the shogun of the Awakusu-Kai organization._

_My name is..."_

Oh, yes, oh, yes! It's getting in-ter-es-ting now~~! o_0 Izaaaayyyaa, noooo33 I'll bet 'chall already know who the man in the white suit is, don't you OuO I made it really obvious, didn't I. XD Well, reviews are always appreciated, as always, and I hope you all look forward to next update3

_Hentai... AWAY!_


	8. The Hurt

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Hello, there3 I think that this fic is really picking up itself~ I'm actually feeling more inspired to write this next chapter. But I guess all stories have to start uninteresting. Well, I want you all to know that, while I was re-reading through this fic yesterday, I noticed that I had incorporated parts of my life into here without knowing it. It has become somewhat of a metaphor for my life. I find this very interesting that I did this without noticing it. Anyways, enjoy the eighth chapter... of Torment.

Warning: Contains angst, overly cute anime-boys, torture, sex, and... love.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Durarara. ...What else should I say? Uh, I don't own it, and... uh... go fuck yourself? XD Okay, enjoy the next chapter!

**Chapter Eight The Hurt**

I had stayed in that place for two weeks now. Well, that's what Shiki-san had told me. I didn't know anything about him, and this meant that while I couldn't exactly tell what kind of person he truly was, I still couldn't trust him. Not even enough that I could believe him about the amount of time I had stayed in this place.

After I had seen Izaya, chained and beaten like that, I hadn't seen him since. And I was struck with an old saying I had heard a while ago.

_You don't know what's something is worth until you lose it._

Or something along those lines.

But I understood those words now. And I regretted them. I wasn't going to regret getting closer to Izaya, but what had been poisoning my mind for the last two weeks was... well, how much closer could I say I had gotten to him? Surely not much. For, what had I really done? To summarize, after all this time, I had finally accepted that I loved him. But what did that really mean? So what? Had he even the heart to feel the same, or even acknowledge me in the least?

These questions haunted my mind, and I was scared. I was scared for Izaya. I had not seen him for the last two weeks, and I felt sick. Contaminated. What had I done? Was it me? Had I done something so that he would be punished?

Either way, Shiki-san was hiding quite a lot or information from me. When he took me out of the room where Izaya lay, he had told me that he required my insane strength for a certain business dealing he was holding in a few weeks. He had sent Izaya to fetch me, and intimidate me enough so that I would succumb easily to Shiki-san's wills. He had promptly apologized and rewarded me with an evil grin that made me feel even more uneasy about the man. He unnerved me, the yakuza boss did. From there, he had told me that I was to wait in the room until further notice. I had stayed in that room for long amounts of time, a plate of food given to me by the same stranger every night. Some faceless, meaningless guy. The food wasn't bad, but it lacked flavor or density. Not that I was much of a cook anyways. But it still wasn't exactly what you could call enjoyable. Shiki came to my room every three or four days, and gave me small snippets of information: Your boss, Tom has been informed that you will be taking an extended leave. We will be ready for your assistance soon. Please hold on a bit longer. We might need further use of your strength more than once. Things like that. Shiki sent women in to please me, so I wouldn't be _bored._ But every night, I turned them away, feeling sick.

It's not that they weren't attractive. In fact, they were so to a worrisome point. But it was the fact that I was uneasy about _Izaya. _And no one, no one could give me the same sensations as Izaya could.

I thought of him that night. Arms flexed over my head, and fingers laced behind it, I was reminded of the image that had been branded into my mind.

He was sprawled underneath me once more.

_Hah... Haahh..._

Eyes wide, pleading, crystalline and glossed over with tears.

_Hand slowly snakes down my stomach._

Arms pushed up over his head. Legs bent helplessly under me.

_Reaches a certain sensitive, yet hard part of my body._

Lips slightly parted. Waiting.

_Nnghh..._

_Izaya...kun._

_I miss you, Izaya._

I fall into the depths of my mind as I sleep, and I see Izaya there, laughing, hands in his pocket.

"_Ne, Shizu-chan? What are you thinking?"_

H-huh?

"_Taskete, Shizu-chan~"_

Save... you?

"_God, are you really this dumb? I knew you were a protozoan, but..."_

Shut it, Izaya-kun.

He laughs icily.

"_You'd better come and save me before it's too late, Shizu-chan!_

_I might not survive long enough for you to come and get me~_

_So, hayaku, Shi-zu-o!"_

You... said my real name...?

"_Haha, idiot. This is a dream! It doesn't count~"_

And I wake up, feeling stupid. Izaya... I long for him, even in my dreams. I grip the sheets tighter around me.

_Sigh... _Shiki-san still hasn't provided me with clothes. Thank god that the sheets have been changed weekly, but still, what was his game? I rub my forehead, trying to relieve my headache, and my hair ruffled over my face, tickling my nose, and I sneeze. I sit up, and realizedI was completely awake. And bored. I get up, and shift the thin, white sheet over my shoulders and walk out into the open space of the cold, enclosed room.

_Alright, Shiki-san. It's time to find out what you're up to._

When I open the door, I feel smug, yet terrified as I discover that the lights are on in the room where Izaya was before. I hear small noises, and my heart races, blood pounds, head throbs, because I know it's him. I know it. It's... _Izaya._

Once again, I pad quietly down the hall to that one room. And right before I get a chance to peek inside I hear Izaya mewl_ his_ name.

"_Shi-Shiki-sa-san..."_

My skin crawls and goosebumps erupt and I know already what I will find there. I know it. Because everything falls into place.

_Izaya's insanity._

_He has always been insane._

_Shiki-san must be insane, too, to do such a thing to Izaya._

_Izaya!_

Somehow I hold on to the last hope that I am simply misunderstanding. But my fears are confirmed in a horrifying way as I actually witness the source of insanity being carried out. Even so, the heat generated by these two is amazing, and I slightly envy the sick man for being able to do these things with a helpless Izaya. I seems that Shiki-san is into bondage, and S&M, and that sort of thing, because Izaya is once again chained to the wall, as Shiki-san sloppily devours the younger's mouth, and slowly runs a knife down his chest, making Izaya whimper and tremble into the man, drawing a thin line of blood. I notice, even further, that the man is already inside Izaya.

_SICK, SICK MAN, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY IZAYA?!_

I am trembling with rage, and I am about to storm into the room, when I hear Izaya moan into Shiki-san...

"_Shi...zu-cha-" _

And then the yakuza boss becomes even more enraged.

"_Fucking whore! I told you not to say that fucking name!_

_I already let you have your turn with him, now shut the fuck up! _

_I don't want to hear another fucking word out of you, you fucking slut!"_

And he pulled out of Izaya. Just as Izaya came. After... saying my name.

And what did I do...?

What the _fuck _did I do?!

I ran back to my room, not even bothering to close the door.

Tears started once again at my eyes, and I scrunched my eyes closed, and grit my teeth,

"_IZZZAAAAYYYYAAAAAA!"_

Ho. Lee. Sheet. What the fuck was that? XD Oh my god, I just love to torture my poor Izaya-chan, huh? And if you didn't notice, I really like writing Shiki-san's name.3 It's just such a cute name for... I mean, a yakuza boss. LMAO But I really do love Shiki. He's such a stylin' yakuza boss. XD

Oh, and sorry to be cliché, because I _know _Shiki's the rapist in like _every _fic. Sorry, but I do love some good Shikizaya action. :P

You also probably noticed by now that I like the word "fuck." XD Oh my god I can't stop laughing- but it just sounds so... yeah. Fuck. Say it to yourself right now.

...see? Isn't it an awesome word? X3 Fuckkkk...

_Hentai... _away!


	9. Guilt Feels like Shit

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

Yes, yes, YES3!~ Last Friday confirmed the fact that school is o-fi-ci-al-ly o-ver! I'm so excited for the fun that Summer brings. Mosquitoes, burning hot weather, an excess of chores, summer allergies, long days, and dry skin! Oh, how I love Summer! I know, to celebrate, I'll reward you all with the lovely little angst I'm experiencing now~ But... well, you know... school _is _over, so maybe I'll write a bit more Shizuo/Izaya interaction in here. Oh, well, since I'm kind of improvising for _every single chapter, _we'll just see how the tide flows, you could say.

Warning: Shizaya, Izuo, Shikizaya, YAOI YAOI YAOI! What else do you want from me? That's all I can write~ _(sob sob) TT3TT_

Disclaimer: Durarara is not mine. Wouldn't that be hilarious?!

**Chapter Nine Guilt Feels Like Shit**

I didn't know how long I had stayed in that room, feeling nothing but empty sorrow. I buried my head in the soft pillow as it slowly, softly dampened with my tears. My arms became useless and I did not move, I did not eat, I did not speak. Of course, Shiki-san tried to get me to move at first without coming near me physically. First, he started out simply by providing me with my normal bartender's clothes that Izaya had taken. Maybe he thought I would feel grateful, and stop sulking...?

Well, I _did _put them on, but still stayed in my room, making myself a promise not to move anymore. Then he had my _"dinner man"_ (the nickname I had forced upon my nightly visitor) try and rouse me by talking some sense into me. I would have felt bad, as the man, compared to the yakuza, was a saint, a late forties or so sort of chubby man, who was short and a bit soft-spoken, I soon came to find. I wasn't exactly interested in him, but I came to find that he was a mellow and somewhat pure-hearted. I wondered what such a person was doing working for Shiki-san.

Then I came to the conclusion that he must have been forced into the position due to a debt of some sort, (?) and I felt a bit sorry for him.

However, he soon disappeared and Shiki-san took the "sexual" route. A couple of barely-dressed women found their way into my quarters, and for a while I tried to ignore their slender fingers up and down my back, but after about ten seconds I lost my patience with them, and ended up throwing my empty dresser at the wall, breaking through it so I had a clear view into the next blank, identical room. They scurried out, screaming in their girlish high-pitched voices.

To be honest, I preferred deeper, more manly screams.

_Oh my god._

I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't.

A smile crept onto my face and I exhaled slowly as I laughed into my pillow.

_What the hell, Izaya?_

_I didn't experience these kinds of thoughts before our..._

_awkward five-way._

And I laughed again, feeling slightly insane, because, despite my cowardice, my situation, and my current surly attitude, I just couldn't help but find my own thoughts amusing to myself.

I sat up, realizing, after my streak of depression that I was extremely _bored. _I looked around the room, my mind temporarily rid of Izaya for the time being, and tried to focus on something interesting. Finding nothing, I decided to stand up and do _some_thing. My feeling of guilt and pain had disappeared completely.

After all, who _was _I?

Shizuo _fucking _Heiwajima!

I could do whatever the hell I damn pleased!

If Shiki was fucking Izaya, what do I do, bash his head into the wall and feed his own dick into his eye socket! And Izaya...?

A sad smile finds its way onto my face.

I pick him up and take him away forever... taking our time to slowly heal each others wounds...?

This thought causes me to smirk as I grit my teeth, and place an arm to the wall, then lie my burning forehead to it, these irrational thoughts in my mind for the longest time as I stay in this position for who cares how long... I just stand there, staring into the dark corners of the room, my mind blank, eyes feeling drained of color, or emotion, past caring.

What was I supposed to do?

And then I rise, pupils dilated. I was an _idiot! _

_Who are you?_

Heiwajima Shizuo.

The monster of Ikebukuro.

If I was so goddamn strong, then it shouldn't be a problem to just threaten Shiki-san for whatever I wanted! And if he resisted, I could... I could simply tell him that I wouldn't go on this... business dealing or whatever...

So I... stand. Make a list in my head as I pace the room. _Izaya. Freedom. Full information. _I pause. Then smile.

I decide to leave the room again. The light is once again on in the room. I walk full-speed down to the room. What I find is not surprising. But it still unnerves me. Still I step in the room, place a hand on Shiki-san's shoulder. And then he turns with this _look _on his face. This _look. _Like, wait, what the fuck? And it makes me grin at first, evil and conquering. Then, for some reason, I laugh, keep laughing. For some reason I feel insane there, gripping the yakuza boss' shoulder with a death hold. And I barely stay upright, I'm laughing so hard. Seeing Izaya's face, surprised and sort of awestruck was somehow hilarious to me, as well. And suddenly he giggled. And, I, full of euphoria, gripped Shiki-san's shoulder even harder as I sent him flying back into the wall, his head sounding an audible _crack!_

I pull the chains out of the wall, then off Izaya's wrists. He looks up at me, a sort of faraway mystified look on his face as he stares into my face, his lips slightly parted. I take him into my arms, and he cringes and his body folds slightly as I make contact. He whimpers and tears gather in his eyes, as he shuts them, and begins to quiver in my arms. But the feeling of success and invincibility had not yet faded, and I let him be.

I open the door to my room, and lie him on the bed that I had slept in for so many weeks. I turn and close the door softly behind us. Walking over to the bed, I stand over his small form. See the scars, the aura of mistreatment and distrust. Something in my stomach twinges.

I climb over him, my legs straddling his lower torso. He cries out sorrowfully and the small noise reverberates around the room. I noiselessly raise a hand and brush his face, moving aside the dark raven locks. His eyes blink open and he turns to look at me with wide, dark, crimson eyes. His gaze has my breath locked in my throat, and I cant look away. My eyes flutter shut as I lean forwards slowly and shift my hands slowly upwards, to grip the bed. He says nothing, but as I feel his hot breath enter my mouth as I draw closer to him, I experience my body growing hotter, my stomach twisting as I hadn't, not since I had last had Izaya like this, in our concrete prison.

Where he...

I lean forwards, break the distance between us. He inhales sharply, expects... something rough, hating.

Our first kiss wasn't stunning. It was the saddest thing I have ever felt, the most amazing, and the most sensual. As I breathily slide my tongue over his, he begins crying and his long hours of _torment_surface and it becomes passionate while completely full of stolen innocence, hours of self-hatred, pain, pain, pain, while full of love and simultaneous hate. It's like electricity, rocketing over my entire being, the saltiness of blood and torture seeping into my skin as I press myself against his face, my hands now gripping the sides of his head, fingers pushing against his temples. He shakily lowers his legs, and I slide my body slowly down over his, my legs now around his hips. I break away from our kiss and, pushing myself up over him, I stare at him. His arms are bent and brought up to his chest and he is shaking slightly. His eyes are still spilling over with tears, and a line of saliva has traced its way down from his mouth. He looks breathtaking in the darkness lit only by the moon, the glossy light, highlighting his features, turning them even paler.

I don't know what do, only, I want to stay like this forever... And then he breaks down and starts crying even harder.

Through his sobs, I catch:

"_Shi-shi-zu-zuo-o-kuuuunn...!"_

I sharply inhale.

"_Shizu-zu-zuo!"_

And he wraps his arms around my waist, brings me back on top of him. The warmth from both of us heating me, making me moan; and the man grips me harder. I can feel him shaking harder underneath me, and I kiss his forehead. His legs wrap around me, and I can feel his icy walls that he has built around himself start to melt.

I feel something wet on my cheek, and suddenly realize that it's Izaya, thickly, slowly licking up my tears that have been falling down my cheeks unknowingly.

He means to play games, even now.

It's just how he is.

How he does things.

How he always has done things.

And will always do things.

So I smile and pull him to my chest. My bartender's clothes have somehow captured his interest as he stares at them, so intently. They seem to bring him some sense of normalcy. He puts his nose to my breast and slowlyinhales, eyes closed. He lets out a breath of air, suddenly and then taps his forehead there.

"_Shizuo... I'm really comfortable right now..."_

I was so comfortable, as well... I could just... fall asl-

"_You know, I haven't slept in a bed since I was fifteen..."_

I turned my head to look at him, with I'm sure was a perplexed, concerned look. He seems to be looking off into space, at a point just above my head.

"_I ran away at sixteen. Took to the streets. I basically just about starved to death. No money._

_No one at school noticed. It was fine. I could do it on my own._

_One day, Shiki-sama noticed me, decided to take me in._

_I joined the Awakusu-kai organization._

_He told me that I owed him something in return for taking me in from my_

_life on the streets. _

_Every night since then._

_Every single fucking night, Shizuo._

_I have to repay his debt to me. What he did for me._

_That means that I've been sleeping in that same spot over there in that room for six years,_

_hands and legs chained all night long. So I don't escape._

_But I won't. He knows it, too. I still owe Shiki-sama my life. _

_I've accepted that the only things in this world are hatred and darkness._

_That's what Shiki-sama has taught me, Shizu-chan, and I-"_

His words are muffled as I grasp his face to my chest, snuggling him there, tight, away from the horrors of his life. Away from the sick, sick, messed up Shiki-san.

My eyes are squeezed shut, and I bend my neck so that I am nuzzled into his hair.

"_You're wrong..."_

I whisper.

"_There's more to this world than hatred and darkness, Izaya-kun! _

_That's only a small part of the world! _

_There's singing, clear skies, laughter, warmth, and, and_

_being comfortable with the one you love!"_

His eyes are wide, wider than ever before, and they stare, just stare, make me lose my ability to think, to form comprehensible words.

"_Shi-Shizuo?"_

I hug him tighter, and I feel his legs shift further into mine.

"_Shi-zu...Shizuo..."_

We fall asleep, wound together, his head in my chest, my head in his hair, arms around his shoulders, his arms around my waist, and legs intertwined.

Neither of us thought about the consequences of my actions that night, and what would come of it. How Shiki-san would react, what he would do. Or how Izaya-kun would change, with me. But if even for one night, we were completely and utterly peaceful.

_OMG WHAT DID I JUST WRITE I was literally taking breaks from writing this because the feels, bro. The feels. That was so fucking ADORABLE Oh my god_

_* __**dies from yaoi overload***_

_Well, I promised you Shizuo/Izaya interaction, but because of my... um, five-way in the first two chapters, I'm going to take it easy on the sex. LMAO _

_Yeah, well I'm really grateful as always for your reviews, and they keep me writing~ I feel that I've gotten a lot better at fan...fictioning...? in the nine chapters so far, but don't worry, dedicated readers! I don't plan on ending this anytime soon! :P For now, Ja ne~_

_Hentai... AWAY~~_


	10. I Didn't Think This Would Happen

Torment

(Based off of an Izaya x Shizuo Doujinshi)

AGH- I am _so _sorry, you all. I left my computer cord somewhere, and then I got sick, and neglected, and all this stuff happened, so, _gomen a saiiii~ _But anyways, here we are3 The 10th chapter! Woo hoo! Yatta! Ummm... I actually am surprised that I even made it this far with my abysmal writing skills. You guys give me _so _much motivation in your comments and such! Thank you thank you thank you for continuing to read this sucky fic, everyone! TToTT

Warning: You know what, screw it! Shut the _nut _up! Shizaya is too fucking cute! I don't _want _to warn because they're too cute for warnings! AGHHH SO FUCKING ADORABLEEE~~

Disclaimer: _No._

**Chapter Ten I Didn't Think This Would Happen**

Izaya lay there in bed with me that night, but morning came, and I knew as I woke that I had to accept the consequences of last night. I already accepted I was in for something rough, knowing the yakuza boss, and I didn't really care, still feeling the success of standing up to such a man. However, the look on Izaya's face as they dragged me out into the hallway was a bit unsettling, and I wanted to return to him as soon as possible, so I decided, this time to try and resolve things without... temper.

You know what, _fuck _that. It broke a little piece of me inside to see him like that. Eyes wide, one hand up on his chest, holding the light blue sheets there, legs tucked under his thin bottom. Mouth slightly parted, he raised his other hand slightly, started to say something, but let it drop, and his face fell into shadows as his head bowed in shame.

I almost ripped myself away from the guards; I wanted so badly to hold him in my arms once again. But I... felt I needed to deal with Shiki-san first, not make everything worse.

I am led to the end of the blank, chipped plaster hallway where we turn left, and I notice a whole next set of identical doors leading to other rooms like mine...? Or so I assume...

At the end of the hallway, we enter a room with a brown, polished sort of different door, and inside is... some Chinese-looking man who I've never seen, sitting at a large desk. The room is lushly carpeted in thick red, and a lone fishtank with nothing inside rests nearby a large window with pale linen hung over it. This whole sight somewhat startles me, as I was expecting Shiki-san, and nothing of _this _sort in a crappy building.

Moreover, I notice there is absolutely no noise outside other than something that kind of sounds like... crashing waves, which is also strange seeing as Ikebukuro has no oceans, or even lakes. The largest bodies of water are probably indoor swimming pools, as far as I know.

And I never saw many Chinese in my home town... What was one doing here now...?

As I came to a stop in front of his desk, he eyed me, then spoke in a very high-pitched, but clear Osakan accent.

"_Heiwajima-san.__"_

He stopped, looked at me again, and I awkwardly shuffled my feet.

"_Uh, yeah?"_

We are going on our business dealing tomorrow morning. I expect you to be ready and fit for the job. After it is over, we will pay you, then send you to a nearby hotel where we will relocate you. Do you understand?"

My mind was reeling from his few sentences. I didn't know what to say, how to react.

One thing was certain, however.

I most definitely did _not _understand.

"_R-Relocate? Wha-?"_

He cut me off short.

"_There really is no need for you to know anything, at this point,_

_Heiwajima-san. _

_Just follow, and expect these things to occur tomorrow."_

I wanted to know more, to have this entire situation explained to me. But... I decided to let it drop. Nothing was really going as planned at all, was it?

One thing, however...

"_Wh-What of Izaya?"_

A small parting of lips hints the only sign of surprise, of emotion.

"_Hmmm? The Orihara boy? He isn't really of importance. He serves as a sort of..._

_playtoy._

_A distraction for those under our service until they leave._

_You see, Heiwajima-san, he has a... hm, debt, of a sort, that he must fulfill, and he is currently working_

_under Shiki-san, who works under me._

_He is nobody, understand? No one. _

_This building you are in serves as a sort of... hotel for those who have business with me. Izaya is called here whenever a guest is staying. That is all. The rest of his pitiful, meaningless life, is, well, meaningless."_

Now he smirks at the obvious revulsion upon my face.

"_You are free to use him how you please for the remaining day you spend here, but after that, I'd advise _

_you leave the Orihara boy alone, or things..._

_could get very messy between you and I."_

And without turning, he addresses his guards, and tells them to leave with me now. I hold his gaze for as long as possible, then break away.

Opening the door to find Izaya still lying there, in the bed we shared the previous night, all I felt at the moment was the need for human comfort.

Tomorrow I would be whisked away to some unknown job. Leaving Izaya alone.

So I pulled him in close, breathed in his scent, tried not to forget it. Hold it in.

So I'd never forget.

The one I hated.

Izaya.

_End~_


	11. Prolouge

_Prolouge~_

He shifts under me, arms spread over the sheets, and he whispers, croons into my ear, that he is ready.

A push and I enter him for the first time.

A barrage of moans follow, and I hold him tight.

For tomorrow I will never see him again.

What is he to me...?

It's complicated.

I don't love him.

Or hate him.

I feel something, though.

What could it be...?


End file.
